I just made out with a guy for $7.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
Is it too much to ask that he stop calling me 'titty fuck' in public?
So i closed my laptop as i started to fall off my bed and then i caught myself and realized that moment of catching myself is the difference between tuesday and friday.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
She's been drinking and was roller blading. I'm sure you can do the math
GOD DAMMIT TARYN WHY DO WE ALWAYS HAVE TO ROB PLACES IN OUR FUTURE PLANS?!
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
Almost stopped showering halfway through to go get food
sex on a bike is impossible
challenge accepted
I just named someones junk. I should not be allowed to talk to people.
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Randomize
