Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
i was more sad about losing him as neighbor on fishville than as a boyfriend
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I would not be 19 again if you paid me. Guess who found naked pictures of themselves? Fuck cocaine
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
omg i wish you could see the front of my car.
There's literally a dust print of your body and your arm trying to hold on and the other one where your fingers visibly dragged down the hood.
I walked past his mum on the way out and she offered me toast in a napkin "for my travels". Being home from uni is weird.
I was fingering her and they busted into my room demanding to know who the best running back was, before I could say anything she moaned and said "Barry Sanders"
B. I found a note on my phone and all it says is 'Fuck yeah im a racecar'
He was gone when I woke up. But he left skid marks on my sheets and our unopened bottle of Titos is missing
New Rule: No more sleepovers with guys we met on Reddit
Randomize