god help us all. i just saw an infant wearing a onesie that said "i don't know who my daddy is"
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I miss having pregnancy scares ....at least i knew i was having a good time
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
well shes beginning to earn a reputation as "the girl who tries to bone her hook ups in the ass with a pickle"
She started howling at the moon. That was pretty much the deal breaker.
Balls are being tripped. Said meow to my cat and he said yeah cool dude.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
So my quick shower turned into a "lay in the shower and let the hot water reign over you because you are too hungover to wash your hair" shower. I'll be there closer to 1:30!
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'm alittle affraid you might be dead, seeing how your work party is in an hour and you haven't answered me? I mean I'm picturing you 1. Passed out in your car covered in fries or 2. On a boat in a box to Mexico covered in coke. Please let it be number 1. And aren't we going to your work party?
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
I'm glad we smoked together,that was probs the biggest sibling bonding we will ever have.
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