Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
We planned for the zombie apocalypse. In great detail. Of course there was booze involved.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Thanks so much for having me, I'm really sorry that I almost caused your dog to catch on fire and also for breaking your doorknob
Its really hard to get off when the googly eyes on your vibrator stare into your soul..
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
Shame - the story of my life.
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