Funny thing- my attraction to each one is inversely proportional to his level of availability.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
you were on ground yelling about how close the floor was to your face.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
the fda needs to get their shit together cause these four loko going away parties are gonna kill me
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
I'm watching my cat lick a used condom wrapper on my nightstand and I'm too hungover to move and do anything about it. Tequila Tuesdays can not be a thing.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
Partying with my eighth grade history teacher I know you're jealous
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Randomize
