How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
My Vagina smells like Nemo again.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He is currently in a meeting and I am sexting him in Italian
And he's using Google translate to reply. Who says cross country relationships can't be fun?
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I bought him flowers and fake vampire fangs, cuz there's really not a greeting card that says "Sorry I got wasted last night and started a very sloppy bloodletting ritual.".
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
