New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We've been walking through the woods for two hours, he just keeps taking pictures. At least we'll remember this tomorrow.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I will fuck anyone who brings me mcdonalds right now
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Our conversation went from you choking me to my quarter life crisis reeeaaalllll quick.
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