you don't remember? you called me at 330 crying because you were in the middle of having sex with corey and forgot his name. all you kept saying was i'm a drunk bitch.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
you just kept bragging about how there was a "pretty large" chance that you had pooped on the same toilet as George Clooney
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
It has moved into the cliche "thin line between love and hate" real quick. With her. Not Taco Bell.
I'm eating Doritos at 9am because last nights weed is just now starting to wear off
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
i'm now remembering the last part of my nigght....ugh. apperently i bargained with the wendys drive up girl after they closed and got "w/e they had left" for $7
Randomize
