its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
she was sure she was an eel. She spent 40 minutes sliterhing on the floor to get to her room
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
She vajazzled her vag. It was as useless as putting earrings on chewbacca
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Update: I may or may not be in a cult
Update #2: I may or may not be the leader of said cult
Randomize
