i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Please please please buy brown eye liner on your way home in the morning... I'm missing an eyebrow
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
Yeah. Moral of the story: Don't mace yourself. It sucks dick.
I slept with one of the directors so you would get a good price on the ballroom for your reception. I'm the best MOH. You owe me bitch
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
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