bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
i take joy in having bigger boobs than others
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Moral of the story: fuckboys never change
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I'm either hallucinating or there is a dying cat outside my apartment....
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