I think I speak chipmunk. Odd.
Are you high?
No. That's why it's odd
no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
