and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
We saluted the chips to the national anthem before cooking them. The house has to get a munchies fryer
I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle
It's like earning obesity badges
after giving head I just always feel like I need like. ice cream. as both a means of getting the lingering sperm out of my mouth, and a congratulations.
I'm on the bus, watching a girl shush her balloons.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
I think my AA sponsor just booty called me.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
I'm pretty sure I hallucinated the existence of an entire human being last night.
Randomize
