My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
I went to the haunted house just to see her - Hello new fetish!
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I spent the last 6 months operating under the assumption that I HADNT fucked a paramedic. I was wrong.
this hospital has no fireball
don't judge my taste in strippers
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Randomize
