She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
You just made it sound like a children's toy! It's a functioning body organ, my vagina is not a gameboy!!!
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
Just high enough for therapy.
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
I don't want to sleep with anyone. I just want a burrito
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Oh man. I threw up in the first cab. Got kicked out. Roamed somewhere for awhile. Fell asleep in the back if the second cab. Woke up in my underwear on the living room floor with a frozen pizza (thawed) laying next to me
Randomize
