I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
You were walking around with a baby carrier pretending your vodka was a baby. You tried to get pictures on santas lap
I'm drinking beergaritas with a dog who is high and a baby
your completely serious
You are a special snowflake. A special snowflake I wouldn't mind rough sex with
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
I just really hate taking care of things... If I can't fill it with liquor I'm not sure what to do with it.
It's just great that Easter is on 4/20 this year. Now everyone can enjoy the Easter egg hunts. And being around my whole family.
I would reevaluate a bf who is happy with other guys doing me.
Terrible idea I love it
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Are you opposed to me trying out your penis?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
Randomize
