Last night i was gna tell u about how i was watching project runway & how i was upset bc they replaced tim gunn & heidi klum. but then i realized that i was watching mythbusters.
True life - we need to smoke together more often
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
isnt this the same guy you hooked up with on his birthday and he then asked, "you were at me birthday?" the next time you were together?
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
He came up to me looked at my tits said they were huge, rated them a 7 and then asked if girls really do masterbate. To make it better, he put his hand up to my face and said his penis is longer than my face...
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
He literally cocked blocked all the dudes that tried to talk to the girls he was with, and they all loved him.
Same guy who tossed the brunet over his shoulder as they left screaming "Bring me my lucky shovel!"
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
Talking to him sober hurts my brain
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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