I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
we made out on top of his cat.
Michael Bay diarrhea
And surprisingly enough iPhone does not have an app for Russian mail order brides.
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
Well I tried to steal a golf cart. I fought with the Chick-Fil-A cow. And other things.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
I was desperately holding on to my sandwich while we had sex.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I might have been the first person in 2015 to throw up on a yellow cab before climbing in it.
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
