just witnessed a squirrel raping another squirrel. i couldn't look away.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
she just blew up the empty bag of wine and used it as a floatation device.
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
Not blacking out at our finals party is my Everest
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
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