I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
Admitting I go to nursing school is my subtle way of saying, yes, I know every muscle in your penis and how to effectively use them.
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Am I really in your phone as Asshole Jesus??
And. I know i am a gay man cause when i saw the pic of his cock his feet were in it and i am like what the fuck?
I'm sitting here bra-less eating jalepeno candied bacon. You know you want this.
Coming.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize