But if ***** wants to get filthy... Tell her to throw a text my way ;)
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
First date: that requires underwear, huh?
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
Hey can we break in your window? We need to borrow the dog.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Executive order 941: BRING ME THE FINEST PANCAKES!
You have got to stop watching the West Wing before going out.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
