Billy Mays is dead too!
Somewhat annoying American icons better be watching their backs
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
Plus apparently whenever one of her friends loses their virginity they get a party with a funfetti cake which I found funny
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
Today is all about not throwing up, where the fuck are my keys and does anyone know what happened to that guy in the panda suit my roommate had sex with last night.
Our apt smells like hot shit marinated in oregano and cumin. No more taco truck dinner, fuck face. The wall paper is peeling.
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
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