I have a hot bod, but my face sucks, what can i do?
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
Oh, I made pasta salad in the throw up bowl. I hope you don't need that for the next few days.
I tried to fuck this guy who I'm pretty sure has an erectile dysfunction
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I have bruises on my ass from her spurs. God bless Texas.
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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