she looked like the bat from fern gully.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
i only understood the part that said mucho orgasmos
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Omg it was awesome. At one point she says "cum in me, I'm too old to get pregnant".
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I thought i didnt really feel whatever i snorted last night until i just realized i think i asked this dude to punch me fight club style
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
I'm drunk and kinda wanna go home but now I have to go have more sex, my boxers are in the dryer
You ate all the burritos in sight....I cant take you to mexican restaurants anymore
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