this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
on my arm i have a score card from when we apparently had a competition to see who could harden his nipples fastest..
who won?
THAT is your concern right now?
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
My mouth holds just enough water for my bong
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
I turned off my domesticated goddess switch over 2 years ago and idk how to turn it back on. So in the mean time I'll dodge this gf bullet and eat free steak for as long as possible
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
She picked a quarter off the floor, kissed it "for luck" and won the $20,000 jackpot. She bought dinner and stayed sober to drive us home. This is a typical example of a visit with my sister.
Randomize