well it doesn't count as a walk of shame if he drops you off at your class in his golf cart
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
Frozen pudding on a popsicle stick. Bill Cosby would be so proud of drunk me.
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
You know what sucks about being drunk at 4 pm? Not a god damn thing.
Randomize
