Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
how are things with the new girl?
good, we have nothing in common but she likes being choked
some people spend their whole lives trying to find their soulmate. who knew mine was hiding in utah successfully balancing a pageant career and a coke habit.
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
It's okay. I've dumbed down my notes over the semester because I knew I wouldn't be up to understanding things come finals.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
whatever bro. i had ice cream and whiskey for breakfast and its noon. this is the second worst christmas ever.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
WE ARE DOING DRUGS AND GOING TO THE STRIP CLUB SATURDAY LADIES
Randomize