i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
Lucas & I had a photo shoot with her cape & I had child arm floaties on most the night.. woke up in a spiderman bed
Tell me about it. Running across highways take alot outta ya. When he found out, he was all "concerned" about it.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Oh were you the stripper at that club last Sunday when i was trippin on acid wearing a giraffe outfit?
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
and yet oddly the jello shots tasted better coming up than going down
Did you leave it the depths of Magic Mike's favorite banana hammock?
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Randomize