every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
i googled "the goonies drinking game." i may be alone, but i'm living the college dream.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
He went snooping and now he's all intimidated by my super amazing box of sexy time toys.
Please stop calling it that.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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