i'm in hospital, i have an exam in 3 hours and the man in the cubicle next to me is doing a noisy poo. this has to get better.
is it appropriate to call someone “ a tasty piece of bitch?” This is time sensitive.
he had to fake a sneeze attack to hide the fact he came in 15 seconds?!
so its atleast an 8 for creativity.
I want to tell you about my weekend in person so I can see your look of judgement and disgust.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Today marks the 365th consecutive day of jerkin it. I couldn't have done it without you guys. #onlynewyearsresolutionaccomplished
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
I've peed outside too many times in just this past week
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
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