Yeah, we realized keeping you in a cage wasn't beneficial to us
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
I feel like I shouldn't be doing my banking stoned. But I bought a new bowl. Her name is Sharpe. Pronounced Shar-Pay.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
This girl caught me staring at the cat but stroking the computer because it was closer, which is why I hate blunts.
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Every time I someone I meet again from that wedding it turns into the "Oh your the guy who puked in the hallway and passed out in front of the elevator."
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
I think I blacked out after I decided drinking alone on the trailered jetskis was a good idea
Twice. I only peed my pants twice tonight.
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
No just a list of 20 of my favorite things
Where are penises on the list
Where am I on the list
Under penises
That's nice of you to be concerned, but I'm pretty confident I'll marry someone 30 years older than me, ride out being the trophy wife for 10 or 15 years, then live large!
Randomize
