i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
What do you mean you don't pregame your bikini waxes?
If we get out of this alive, I'm never going to a Denny's at 3 am again.
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
she sent me pictures of 3 different vaginas and if I could pick which one was hers i could sleep with her.
I was always good at matching as a child.
Aaaand my life has been reduced to whether I can reach to flush my puke down the toilet using my foot. The answer is yes.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
I've literally slept one hour I'm honestly just surprised you can insult me this early
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
That's why we have robots to masturbate for us
Randomize
