Please, let me fuck your mom
i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
You asked him to stand still, you put your leg on his shoulder, started dry humping the air
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
Memorial weekend is going to be amazeballs. Jungle juice, drunk guys, and my vagina being stimulated by the vibrations of a 4 wheeler. I mean there is no way that can go wrong.
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
I just found a casserole dish in my oven filled with broken glass, blood, and chopsticks. And the REALLY fucked up thing is that finding it answered more questions than it raised.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
Be ready for a dog pile. On your head. With my ass.
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
that may or may not have been my penis.
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