I tried to use my car keys to open my door
I just started a sentence with yellow.
Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
Change the recording on your voicemail. He found your number and my ass print on the car hood.
Do they still have sex clubs in San Francisco? Because that'd be an interesting way to spend Easter.
The fact that I bookended my summer with pregnancy scares doesn't upset me. The fact that he's a trombone major does...
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
I have a mild substance abuse problem, but I'm still a functioning member of society. America.
Randomize
