So how come you never look me in the eyes anymore when we make love?
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
I hate when you've made an ugly girl's day by having sex with her, and then she gets greedy and wants to cuddle after you cum.
I bet her clit looks like pig in a blanket.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I just horrified a large group of people. Congrats on dating me.
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Some days, I wish I could get a hug from a furry muppet
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
We were looking everywhere for you and I finally found you in the closet talking to a build a bear.. So I gave you and myself another drink
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