Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
Who are these men, what are we doing here, how is this helping us toward our goals of sex and pasta? Things to consider.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
Did I just hear you ask Siri about the meaning of life?
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I want you to defile me in my childhood bed.
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