Fun fact: he pulled out my nuva ring while he was fingering me.. he looked really confused at me and it a couple of times, so i just said "surprise! not only is it good for pleasure, it's also really handy for storing plastic toys." I'm thinking he's definately gonna call.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
I woke up on a navy base in a different time zone. I'm never leaving tallahassee again.
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
I woke up completely naked with the exception of my leg warmers. Last night must have been interesting.
Pretty sure by 1p, she had fucked all of my bodily fluids out of me. I'm now trying to replace them with bourbon so 2016 is turning out pretty good.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Randomize
