M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Dude, we apparently put a washing machine drum in that back of your truck with the full intention of making a bonfire in it.
do you remember showing me a picture of your husbands penis last night?
yea! the mushroom one. i would only show you.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
I got very very very high last night and bought a cotton candy machine on eBay
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
You kept saying, "please sir, can I have some more."
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