And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
you came back at 4am in a suit jacket and a half eaten burrito...
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
i projectile vomited shoeless at 7:30 a.m. in a taco bell parking lot. never again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Randomize
