found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
She refers to my dick as princess Sarah... oddly I'm okay with that.
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
went back to my college bar last night. Bar tender doesn't remember my name but remembers me as margarita girl...I'm not even mad though
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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