yeah, i liked him til i heard he had a sac that could apparently smother my face.
I don't know which is more embarrassing, the fact that I shat on the floor today or that I told you about it.
It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
This hotel is not contributing to my sobriety, they have 4 kinds of free wine and beer.
You beat him at the shot competition, and proceeded to rub it in while telling everyone to "ASK ME A MATH QUESTION!!!"
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
He smoked and I was tired so left before we did anything. I literally left him high and dry.
the last i saw he was butt naked on the top deck of the bus trying to conduct a drunken choir so i really have no idea
I tried to order dominos and couldn't but I accidentally placed an order for this morning. I knew I did it last night and was gonna call and cancel this morning but honestly it's coming in 30 minutes and I need it
Randomize
