Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Almost just bought a peacock. I need to get off Craigslist
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
Dude, exfoliate your balls. you'll thank me later.
Its because she suspects I'm a frequent drug user, which I am, but I am going to make her feel like she is crazy for believing it.
So apparently my bro is going to make me fix his tattoo this trip... He sent me a pic of said tattoo. Tattoo is of a sperm, on his penis, which was in a woman's mouth... Wth
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Randomize
