Sexting assembly today. Fuck yes
I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
Street performer on bourbon st just lifted a sewer top so I could puke down it. I love New Orleans.
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
dinner is belligerent. she just poured the rest of the pitcher of margaritas into a take home box. people are staring.
Sorry for eating those cheese fries out of your hands last night
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Officially crunch time. It's my last year of grad school and I've yet to get blown in a school library. The parking garage was less than a block away though.
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
He's good looking but he really sounds like kermit the frog, can you imagine how fucking him would sound like?
Emojis can't explain what he felt when that ass dropped
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
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