this just has baby written all over it
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
this is the second time in my life i thought i might need to go to rehab. im including all the mornings that i wake up in dewey beach as "the first time"
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
So as I left the Australian's hotel room, I said "Welcome to America. You're going to do just fine here."
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
cant one of your roommates drive you?
You came in my eye once. You owe me.
ill be there in 20
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