you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
my mom just called and warned me someone is trying to serve me, i feel like i'm playing an extreme game of hide and go seek these next weeks
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
Needs to be more caveman. "Me kill roommate. You watch. Then sex time with our genitals."
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
Like if Ohio doesn't think I can get smashed on wine I will gladly prove them wrong
The drag queen you used to date and the girl you brought over last night are discussing your sex noises in my living room. I'm changing my locks.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
Randomize
