Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
I love taking my adderall while im in class! As soon as I take the pill out everyone around me just stares in envy!
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
I had to find out that I peed in the box of baby clothes from my mom, who found out from my grandma. New low.
So glad I decided to show up and puke in your trashcan.
These are the moments that bond souls forever.
I know everytime I get my paycheck I'm like "I should probably renew my gym membership" and then I just buy more alcohol
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
He says we're "annoying" but that's an odd word to describe a couple of heroic liquor saiyans
I gargles a mimosa for breakfast. It's gonna be a killer Monday.
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
I dont know who to turn my two weeks notice into so I'm just going to get hammered at work and see who fires me.
Randomize
