let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
if every girl in minneapolis isn't pregnant when i get back to the cities i will cry
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
After you vomited on the patrol car, you thanked the officer for helping you up off the ground. I don't think you realized you were being arrested.
I feel like saying your blowjobs are worth a burrito is not the best strategy to get him to be more giving in bed.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
May or may not have just put tequila in my special "kids+" orange juice fortified with vitamins a, b, c, d, e, and now t.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
Is it too much to ask for 10 minutes of privacy while I masturbate?
Does sending her to the conference instead of a competent employee and putting her in a suite make up for banging her husband behind her back?
No, but she’ll have a nice memory when she gets dumped and fired on the same day.
Fuck you bitch. You're married. You got a live-in dick at home for your needs. I still gotta surf this shitty town's bars for cock
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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