can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
They let you pick the name that they announce for you at graduation. The professional world needs to prepare itself for papa smurf mcdonald.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
You did profess your love for cotton multiple times and your hatred for all other fabrics
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I think i should wear mittens next time we have sex.
sent a snap of my boobs out to my FWB his response was what happened to your other nipple ring.. how do I say it got ripped out by my other FWB last week without sounding like a slut
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
Randomize
