And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
how's this sound. You, me a box of pink franzia and a night full of possibilities in your basemen. I'll be me. You be you. And we'll see where it goes
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
Sunscreen. In my vag. I hate summer sex.
I dont want to tell you. Lets just say that a lot of things are reminding me of your dick right now
Does having a sippy cup full of wine, at an outlet mall, qualify you as 'having a problem'?
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I just finished spraying the foam party off my pumps with a garden hose
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
I wound up running down the street in 12 degree weather in just my bra and then fell asleep cuddling my bottle. You tell me how last night went.
We watched X-Files, ate pizza, and he played with my butt. It was a pretty standard Monday.
The modern romantic, surprising his gf w/ a gram of blow
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
