guess who was drunk and crawling in the middle of the road and got brought home by the police last night? HINT: ME
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Gave out candy dressed as a porn star...bet you can guess how the mothers kept reacting.
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
he tried to convince me he was a seal.. sound effects included. and then asked me to 'be his lady seal'.
It's called the eyeliner-blowjob correlation, read a science book bro
Still want to know how you got back last night? Two Campus Security Officers carried you in around 430. Your pants were around your ankles.
I hate Sailor Jerry.
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
