you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
i want to swaddle you in tequila
You were outside the bathroom the gay guy was puking in, screaming "IT GETS BETTER!" over and over again. Good message, poor execution.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
I want him in the "you're a terrible idea and are probably going to get me killed by my parents, my siblings, and my boyfriend" way
I was high and he had on a gorilla suit. Of course I had to take a picture with him
Your a disgrace to smokers everywhere
It's like wanting to be a vampire vs being a vampire. You don't know the cock lust until it's infected you.
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
This is what happens when you leave: I get all vulnerable and I make out with the cowboy to shut him up about Jesus.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Randomize
