hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
I literally stabbed myself so I had a valid reason to get out of having sex with her
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
His kisses tasted like beef jerky and captain morgan. I'm pretty sure I came before he even took my clothes off.
About six hours after the bottle of smirnoff, I was googling "losing your stomach lining" and calling my mom for help. She has experience.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
There's going to be a velveeta shortage. I'm not drunk any more, this is just dire info.
I finished masturbating now I'm eating french toast crunch. What is life, and what are friends.
Randomize
