i just remebered what i did last night, i asked a homeless man on a bike "hey whatcha doin with that bike, wanna make 5 bucks?" he agreed and then rode me on his handle bars a block away to the next bar.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
I feel like somebody took my brain out. Stomped on it with cleats. And then put it back together with a glue stick. Thank you.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
She is so graceful and lady-like, like a swan... On meth
I need someone to sew my vagina shut until I'm responsible enough to use it
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
Randomize
