there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
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