Don't be scared. It'll feel very good. And you'll be clean afterwards. I'm growling right now.
my phone needs a breathalizer
How do I introduce myself to her without coming off as "the guy who jacks-off to her profile pic"?
That reminds me...we need to get swords
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
i yelled at him for a little and we ended up fucking in a random tennis court.
he's measuring my pool to see how much jello powder he needs. He got paid today.
how many times have i told you.. they dont like when you laugh during sex
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
Like I want to yell at him for pissing on my floor but there's still a chance its my pee....
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
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