found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
I found a fried uncrustable on the table from last night.
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
how the hell did this chicken wing end up in my cast?!
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
BOOTY CALL IN EFFECT, BOOTY CALL IN PROCESS, BOOTY CALL ACCEPTED, AND BOOTY CALL INITIATES FRIDAY NIGHT.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
He brought over a bottle of tequila and a box of donuts with the Plan B, so I guess you could say things are getting pretty serious.
One time she showed me her pierced nipples in our high school locker room and now she has a daughter
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
