You don't have asthma, your pregnant
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I'm setting a 12:15 alarm for a taco bell run. Be awake or never wake up again.
Thing I said while arguing: I want to be single again so that I can have pizza and dick rained down upon me.
Pulling out all the stops on being a lady.
I wish buying curtains was as easy as buying drugs. I already KNOW what I want and what the outcome will be: awesome.
My girl came home. i was jacking off on the couch and she just starts telling me about her day, as if im not half naked with my hand on my cock.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
Have you seen that new toaster that burns your pics to toast? Let's drink some booze and discuss what I have I mind.
MY GOD DAMN TV STOPS WORKING EVERY TIME I AM THIS FUCKING HIGH. WHY MUST IT TORMENT ME?!
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I suggest both. Please have sex with them and prepare notes for a final comparison.
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
