Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
1. No more tequila 2. Why do you let me say slutty things? 3. I woke up and our apartment was covered in cake? 4. Love you
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
I've been thinking about it and if we ever have a threesome it'll start off with us clothed solely in our matching fur vests
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
Randomize
