Got a toothbrush?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i dont think there is any level of not caring that i havent covered in the last month
Just asked the bartender if I could use the register to see my grades.
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
It finally happened. Some guy just tried to catfish me with my own dick pic. Of course I told him that it was the hottest dick I'd ever seen and that I would do anything for that particular dick.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
