he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
can someone explain to me why i woke up under a twister sheet
He gave a passionate hug to every tree on the way to my car.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
I just bought 1/2 a fifth of vodka out of an old school baby carriage from a homeless man. Gotta love this city.
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
that bitch in the red sedan is still teasing me with the ice cream cone. i'm going to show her my dick
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
When the strippers start dancing to Christmas songs it's time to get the fuck out!
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
Youre a wreck. Youll be in your dorm weeping to project runway covered in pizza sauce and smelling of stale beer
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
