let me know it goes. try not to get bit. and if you can, get someone to videotape it.
If you did the rosary as much as you masturbated, you would be the pope
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
The doctor told me if I woke up with a broken foot and don't know how it happened, I might want to look into getting treatment.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Last night I was just holding this kitten up to my face for like ten minutes telling it that it couldn't be real
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
Aaaaand now he just flexed his muscles at me and said "I'm a fucking eagle!"
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
