Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
giving yourself 2 days to recover i see
I'll need it. Largely because i'm going to be stumbling through fancy restaurants with a bottle of whiskey insulting couples all night.
He yelled "HERE COMES THE WARMTH" before he pissed his pants. In front of the whole party.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
Then he kept saying sentences and ending them all with "the point of no return" even if it didn't make sense, and kept telling this other guy he wouldn't be his "wife son"
There was enough sluts here for 2 threesomes to happen at the same time, and you still struck out. What did you do to piss off karma so much?
You are a lesbian wizard with red hair. You are willow
I have a hickey in my new work ID photo.....
so is it socially acceptable to send her an "i got my man back you whore" card?
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Randomize
