the liability waiver did not state that i couldn't bring my bottle of wine in the bouncy castle. it did Not.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
So for Valentine's Day...I finally swallowed. I feel like I earned that steak.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
Does having sex in an airport bathroom with a girl you just met at the bar count as the mile high club? ...no?
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