This is not my ceiling
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
my history teacher totally just suggested that we record his lectures and play drinking games with them later so that we pay attention to the material.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
I JUST FARTED SO LOUD AND HARD I IMMEDIATELY TASTED IT
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
How's the party?
I'm watching two people get flogged. Sothere's that.
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