There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
you lied vaginas dont taste like gold fish!
noo i said youre golden if her vagina tastes like fish!
dude skip the party. it is a fucking post office here
what the hell does that mean?
nothing good but a whole lotta male and packages
She danced with a broom while telling me I was "cool as shit" and she "wishes she could take a portion of my big ass and attach it to hers" then she passed out
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Why is there a water bottle full of red wine on my desk this morning?
See you tonight.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Open the door and I will lure them out to freedom with viagra and candy orange slices. You know they love that shit.
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
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